In the spirit of and permanently dismantling toxic traditional New Year's resolutions—which mostly are designed to make us feel terrible and spend money on things we think we need to live a more fulfilling life—we're offering up Smart Goals, a series that offers judgement-free and tactical advice on how to set some, well, smart goals for yourself in 2024 that feel realistic and sane.
Congratulations! You’ve nearly made it through the 23rd year of the third millennium CE. Will you pop the Champagne, or shall I? I won’t say 2023 has been the worst year in our most recent decade—the world literally shut down in 2020, and 2022 played the most evil practical joke on women that turned out to be very real—but it sure hasn’t been easy.
To be fair, there were some candy-colored highlights: 2023 brought with it the the highest-grossing woman-directed film of all time, the most exciting Super Bowl Half-Time Show in recent memory performed entirely by an iconic (and pregnant!) woman, sold-out arena tours that also revitalized local economies thanks to two specific women, a Bravolebrity scorned who emerged richer and way more famous after a shocking betrayal, even a gimmicky bra (yes, bra) hawked by a Kardashian that we thought was just another way to sexualize women turned out to be not so bad after all. But by and large, this year has left us worn down, anxious, and more than ready to usher in 2024 because maybe we're all a little bit sad?
Which is why we're going on record saying the last thing we need right now is to be told we need to be better in the form of insidious and cliched New Year's resolutions. For me, not-so-low-key reminders that a new year is approaching have started to seep into my daily habits—Instagram ads imploring me to pay the sale price of $49 a month to a fitness influencer who will show me how to get the Pilates body I've always wanted. On TikTok, my For You page is full of average Janes sharing their life-changing productivity hacks. Over on Pinterest (I can't even mood-board in peace?) my homescreen is brimming with suggested pins from amorphous sources about to be a better mother and how to have a happier child.
Improving my health, my routine, and the way I parent aren't innately terrible things—why, yes, I would like like to get stronger and fitter, find lasting ways to overcome my lifelong crippling procrastination, and ensure I'm raising the best kid I can with the tools I have. But being told what I'm doing is wrong and that making them right needs to happen during the first month of every new year feels like a bitchy joke. Kind of like if the meanest girls from high school got together to mock everything that makes you you.
As my colleague Danielle Sinay wrote in a piece about the misgivings of New Year's diet resolutions, “January is meant to be a fresh start, but it always looks the same: a 31-day-long barrage of New Year’s resolution ads falsely promising a ‘new you’ for a new year. This is never not triggering.”
Before Vanderpump Rules, before Scandoval, before the (almost) 2 million Instagram followers, she was a master of reinvention. The newest version of Ariana Madix? Stronger, freer, and—yes—richer.
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Which is why we wanted to create a series for the new year we're calling Smart Goals—a play on SMART Goals, the mnemonic criteria people have been using since 1981 to strengthen careers and enhance personal growth.
Our series doesn't rely on as heavily on the formulaic—SMART stands for specific, measurable, assignable, realistic, and time-related—but rather offers up judgement-free advice on how to achieve some good-for-you goals in the time frame of your choosing. Whether it's how to quit smoking, how to quit drinking (or take a break), how to start going to the gym if you've been plagued by intimidation, how to quit a job in 2024, how to start a book if you've saying for years you're ready to write, or just perusing a big list of the healthy habits our editors rely on to perform at our best, it's all here and more. Not because it's January and you have to do these, but because you want to, whenever you get around to it. Read them all here.
How to Quit Smoking
How to Start a Podcast
How to Start Going to the Gym
How to Start the Divorce Process
How to Quit Drinking
How to Start a Book
How to Quit a Job
Perrie Samotin is Glamour's digital director and host of Glamour's What I Wore When podcast. Follow her @perriesamotin.
